What makes a person successful?
Merriam-Webster defines success as a “favorable or desired outcome” and “the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence.”
Society often gives us a similar picture: a good job, an impressive title, a beautiful home, and plenty of money in the bank. Those are the things we can see, so they become an easy way to measure how well someone is doing.
But I think there is another definition. One that has more to do with our spirit. How we feel about the life we are living. Whether we have time for the people we love and the things that bring us joy.
Tony Robbins says, “Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.”
We can work so hard toward something we want without giving much thought to how we hope to feel once we get there - or whether we’re enjoying any of it along the way.
The other day, I asked my tutoring students what they thought success meant. They range in age from eight to eleven, and their answers ranged from being happy to being rich.
Then one student said, “Being just like my dad.”
I asked him what he meant.
He explained that his dad is the president of his company, and he does fun things with them.
Wow. I loved that answer.
At eleven years old, this boy could appreciate his dad’s accomplishments at work and the time they spent together. Both were part of what made him want to be like his father.
It also got me thinking about my own dad.
Growing up, my dad went to work and came home.
Occasionally, he went on business trips, but for the most part, he was there. At one stage in our lives, he worked three jobs while my mom was home taking care of me and my three sisters.
We didn’t go on elaborate vacations. We went to Broadway shows, enjoyed nice dinners, and hosted cast parties when my sister and I were in plays.
We always had enough. And we always felt loved.
As a child, I didn’t think about whether that made us successful. It was simply our life.
Later, I learned that my dad had passed up promotions because he enjoyed his life the way it was.
That detail means more to me now.
A promotion is something we’re generally supposed to want. More responsibility, a bigger title, more money. It can be easy to say yes without really considering how it might change our days.
My dad had considered it. He liked the life he had, and that mattered in his decision.
This idea of success has been swirling around in my head lately, and as I sat down to write, I realized that November 5 marks the anniversary of my dad’s passing.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I’m sharing this during this particular week. Thinking about what success means to me has brought me back to him, to the choices he made, and to the life he and my mom created for us.
For me, success means making a comfortable living, having time to do things I am passionate about, and doing meaningful work that makes a difference to others. It means being able to enjoy the life I am working so hard to create.
Of course, I have goals. There are things I want to accomplish and ways I want to grow. I get excited about new ideas and where they might lead.
But I also want to pay attention to how my life feels along the way.
Am I making time for the people I love? Does my work feel meaningful? Is there room in my week for something I enjoy?
I don’t have all of that figured out. Some weeks, those questions are easier to answer than others. But they help me decide where to put my time and energy.
As November 5 approaches, I find myself thinking about what my dad left with us. The memories, the time together, and the certainty that we were loved.
Maybe that belongs in the definition of success, too: leaving a legacy of love. Making the people closest to you feel valued, cared for, and grateful that you were part of their lives.
All these years later, I’m still feeling the love my dad put into ours. I can’t think of anything more valuable than that.
